Relationship Break Up Advice – Contact After A Breakup
February 13th, 2010
There are many reasons why you might want to maintain contact after a breakup. One reason would be that you want to try to mend the relationship or you many want to just be able to remain friends with your ex. Either way, is it a good idea to keep contact after a break up?
It is usually recommended that you wait a while after the break up to contact your ex. How long should you wait? Well that depends. If your ex is the one who initiated the break, I would wait at least a month before attempting to contact them. If the break up was fairly recent, again, I would wait.
Just after a split, you will still be trying to cope with all the feelings you have. While your emotions are running high, it is likely that you will do or say things you will regret. So when dealing with relationship breakups, it’s best to give them a ‘cooling off’ period. I know this will be hard for you to do. You are used to having this person around every day and you may still have very strong feelings for them.
If you feel there were misunderstandings at the root of the break up, you could contact your ex either through email or by sending a letter to them. This way you can choose what to say without letting it become an emotionally charged yelling match. A heartfelt apology for the things you did wrong, or the wrong perceptions you had can go a long way towards saving a relationship. If you don’t hear back from your ex right away, that’s ok. They may need time to process what you have said. Let them have time to think. They will contact you when they are ready to talk to you.
It’s really hard when you are getting over a break up. Some days all you want is for things to be the way they used to be. It doesn’t help if your ex refuses to talk to you or is just angry and hateful. It is best to back off a bit and try to go on with your ‘normal’ life. If you do decide to contact ex after break up, make sure not to flood them with emails, phone calls or text messages. Just the one I mentioned before to either apologize or clear up any misunderstanding is enough. Wait at least two weeks to follow up and make sure they got your message.
Deciding the ‘right’ amount of contact after a break up isn’t always set in stone.
Using some common sense, being sincere and speaking honestly from your heart will go a long way towards saving a relationship.
copyright by Gene Elias
Entry Filed under: Miscellaneous